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Praising in the Waiting

The Honey Seeking Mom

Cover Photo byAnthony TranonUnsplash

It was the fall of 2015. My husband & I had separated that summer, & I was doing all I could to support my three boys on the seasonal income of a server, on top of every other challenge the enemy had tried throwing my way ever since I had made the decision to give my life back to Christ. Every day was a struggle in one way or another, to say the least. But I was making my stand, refusing to give up.

During the financial struggles as I worked to build a new life centered around God, He provided help through His people & my church family, ensuring we never went without. I remember one Sunday that summer, I walked into to church with only six dollars in my pocket, no food at home for my boys, & had to work…

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All Posts · Parenting with Addiction

Speaking Out Hurts

Why Bother? I tell myself I am speaking up for those who can't. I tell myself that God gave me this gift not for my own purpose but for His works to be done. I tell myself of course there will be haters. But none of that makes it any easier. Especially not when that hate and judgement is the same voice I have fought against my entire life.

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Feeling Inadequate in Motherhood

Boldly Beagley

Imagine a dream job you wanted, yearned, even ached for. You’ve tried to get this job for quite some time, but begin to lose hope you’ll ever get it.

Then, one day, you get a call. A glorious, out-of-the-blue call. That’s right, you got the job!

You are shocked, but overjoyed with the news. You’re nervous for the new journey, but you feel ready and confident to take the leap.

As you begin the job, you realize it is far more demanding than you ever imagined. Of course, you knew going into it there would be challenges, but they now seem beyond your capabilities.

The confidence you once had has nearly diminished. You doubt yourself daily, maybe even hourly. You start to question why you were chosen for this job.

This was my experience after adopting our darling daughter, Brynn. I wanted to be a mother as long as I…

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All Posts · Parenting

Finding the Mother My Children Need When All I Want To Do Is Scream

I wasn't ready to be a mother, and because of that I haven't always been the mother my children need. Most recently, I found myself lost without a clue what to do when my oldest had a major meltdown, allowing her possessive jealousy to get the best of her. … I needed a second to breath, to stop shaking. If there was a solution I wasn't going to find it burried under emotional outbursts. Only with calm, clear intention.

All Posts · Parenting with Addiction

Parenting With Addiction: Accepting Truths Without Judgement

You have to look at the people who have overcome these lifestyles. Those same people understand the harshness and hardships that only the victims and abusers who struggle with such vileness can. They can tell you how an addict thinks, how they map their thoughts all out in their heads, connecting lies to truth and covering tracks.

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They said that comparison is the thief of all joy – they were right.

One of my all-time biggest pet peeves is when my husband pulls the comparison card on me, especially when it comes to parenting. I love him with everything that I am, but in the moment that he starts in on “so and so does it this way, and said that we’re doing this wrong”, I think my brain just explodes, all reason leaves the room and I turn into a shrieking deranged harpy. I’m actually legitimately scared he’ll video tape my reaction one day, for posterity’s sake, and force me to watch it before he tucks it away for future generations of husbands as a cautionary tale on what marriage is truly like.  See honey, I know I’m crazy!

But what I’ve come to realize very recently, you know in my moments of deep self-reflection (usually when I have three seconds to pee by myself before my toddler bursts into the bathroom), is that I think I react this…

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Miscarriage and Dismay

They Say "Tell Me About It" But there are no words colorful enough Closing my eyes desperate to pray away the pain Holding onto hope in the midst of this daunting strain

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Anxious Toddlers & Low-Key is Birthdays

My daughter will be turning 2 on the 25th. I’m mystified that my baby is growing so quickly. She woke up last week and just started opening doors and saying full blown sentences. With her big day approaching, we had to make a decision on a whether or not to have a party.

We had a party for her 1st birthday. We set up Peppa Pig balloons and decorations at a local community center, and a good amount of people and kids showed up to celebrate our little girl. I quickly noticed how uncomfortable she was. She would only let 2 or 3 people interact with her, and she didn’t smile much. She just seemed very nervous.

I knew she wasn’t a big fan of people, but it wasn’t until the party that I considered that she could have anxiety. My son has shown a fair amount of signs anxiety…

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All Posts · Parenting

He Must Like Her, You Know How Boys Will Be Boys!

...he was most likely taught all about the golden rule 'treat others as you would wish to be treated' but it was muffled by the sound of his fathers laugh as he spit out, "Oh well, boys will be boys."

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15 Simple Cleaning Hacks

15 Simple Cleaning Hacks For Busy Parents Easy ways to stay ahead of the chaos and keep your home looking presentable. One thing we are all familiar with (some of us too well) is how quickly the littlest household tasks can pile up. From keeping up with unused items lying around to finally tackling that… Continue reading 15 Simple Cleaning Hacks

All Posts · Faith Found · Parenting · Parenting with Addiction

Parenting With Addiction: Pushing God Away

Until I could admit that I had been wrong, living a lie and allowing it to affect my own daughter, I couldn't get anywhere in life. Not spiritually, anyway.

All Posts · Faith Found · Parenting · Shared Posts

Why I Love Jesus: Guest Post

In this Guest Post Nicole opens up about faith in the face of 'failure' and letting a loved one go, knowing the Lord is with them even if they chose not to see Him, among other things.

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The Man I Never Thought I Would Meet

These were harsh words, but they made me think twice about the choice I was about to make. If everything fell apart could I (at the very least) look back and say that I went into the lion's den with my my eyes wide open, my thoughts clear and steady, knowing the risk I was taking?

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Gaslighting – my best friends Abusive partner uses suicide as a control tactic.

Mum. That's a Bad Word!

Trigger warning – abuse mentioned*

‘Remember me when I’m gone’

This is the message she got when she went out with her best friend with a photo of him holding a knife to his wrist.

Threatening suicide became his favourite control tactic and it worked.

He searched over 11 local clubs and bars that night to find her, searching for her knowing she was with her best friend but he didn’t care instead he blew up her phone with calls and messages threatening suicide and threatening to fuck up anyone she was with.

She was completely faithful to him even through the constant abuse but that didn’t stop him from accusing her of cheating every day when she walked in the door.

Cheating on him with her boss, her customers, her friends husband, people who looked at her or who she was polite to, cheating on him with her own…

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All Posts · Parenting with Addiction

Clearing Fear

Apparently, somewhere in my mind I decided it was a good idea to write about how I have used my past experiences (as a young adult and child with multiple addictions) to work to my benefit now as a parent.