My best friend, my partner in crime, my husband.
No words do justice to the feeling you get knowing you can rest assure you’ve found ‘the one.’ The comfort of quality company and a friend who holds your truths with a delicate hand. 🥀
No relationship is perfect, each one packaged carefully with its own imperfections.
But strength comes to those who see what can be, who encourage the ones they love to grow and have confidence in themselves.
It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
As a stay at home parent it’s easy to look around the house with a feeling that all of this my domain.
I run the show, pull back the curtain, prep the stage and even sweep out the dust. However, reality will just as quickly remind me that this is not the case as soon as my husband returns home.
The truth is, we both run the show.
We share all the responsibilities, whether it’s cleaning the house or comforting our children.
Parenting and providing makes for a very busy lifestyle. It is, in the simplest of terms, hard work. So we take a lot of pride in our efforts to make sure our house is a home our children can think back to with warmth and admiration.
Most importantly, we take a lot of pride in working as a team because as much as it is a blessing to create life and raise happy humans, it comes with an immense amount of pressure.
The pressure of staying strong.
That pressure can build like a storm at sea until it’s taken over everything inside of you. Before you know it you’re lost in a world of worries, face to face with your biggest fears as a parent and wondering how the hell you will ever make it out of these raging waters.
That’s when I look to my husband, who without hesitation stands by my side to help carry the weight.
Never in a million years did I think I would find someone to share these moments with.
I had seen so much sadness in marriage as a child. Every time I turned around there was word of another divorce in the family, another heart broken, another family torn apart by guilt, greed and selfish endeavours.
I used to tell myself I would “never make the mistake of getting married.“
At the time, I felt that it wasn’t worth the risk of losing everything during what can arguably be some of the most ugly battles our justice system has ever seen.
From who gets what, to who gets who.
I grew up without either of my parents because of divorce and swore I would never take part in feeding that beast.
But those weren’t rational thoughts, they were my childhood fears.
When I found my now husband, I discovered all that could be accomplished with the right person at your side.
A friend to lean on, to support and to grow with (both as individuals and as a pair.)
When people talk about the importance of choosing a partner for life they often spit words that create one beautiful cliché after another, all of which tend to be underrated and often overlooked.
However, coming from a family full of divorce, these were the clichés I was met with…
“You don’t need a piece of paper to be a couple.”
“Marriage is just a cog in the machine of our controlling government”
“Why would you waste your potential trying to support someone else.”– Strong words from people I loved right before I became a Wife
These were harsh words, but they made me think twice about the choice I was about to make.
If everything fell apart could I (at the very least) look back and say that I went into the lion’s den with my my eyes wide open, my thoughts clear and steady, knowing the risk I was taking?
I knew the risks, I knew there would be hard times, but I also knew I had found someone that I could talk with as we worked together to get out of the storm.
That, I believe is the part that many people overlook.
It’s not a matter of why get married, but who you marry. Who you choose to build a life with and sometimes even create life with.
So, don’t be afraid or aggressively against the idea of marriage. Don’t mock those who have tried to give their heart to someone knowing the risks.
Take a moment to know that that ‘piece of paper’ does mean something to us because it is a symbol of our sacrifices towards a better life.
Marriage, parenthood, partnership…
They are some of the most beautiful, challenging lifetime commitments anyone can face.
With all this said, if you or a loved one is facing the hardships of divorce please know that my heart is with you. I pray everyday for the families facing this burden.
I can’t imagine the choice is easy to make, stand strong and trust in yourself.