First of all, you wouldn’t tell a working mother, “Wow, you put your kids on hold to continue your career?”
How bad does that sound!
Well, each time I have been told that choosing to stay at home with my kids instead of working was a “brave” choice I always feel this little twitch, as if it was a backhanded compliment. Probably because it is usually followed with, “I could never do that…” *Que eye roll
Let me explain this to you…
Having a full-time job outside of the home or choosing to stay at home with your kids are simply different ways of parenting and raising humans. They are different lifestyle choices based off a family’s current needs or wants. Neither one is ultimately better than the other as long as everyone is happy and healthy.
I greatly admire any woman who can balance work and home life. I did so for a short while and let me tell you it’s not easy.
From early morning drives through traffic dropping my littles off at daycare and making my way into work, to the evening rush of making dinner, bathing the kids and keeping up with housework, it’s a very busy life!
One that I decided just wasn’t for us.
Now that I am staying at home, I have learned so much more about myself, my abilities as a parent and even ways of keeping up with the finances from home. It is still a busy life, but for us it was the best option. To quote another stay-at-home-mama:
“When people say things along the lines of you not having a “real” job or them not understanding why you didn’t [do] something in particular during the day because they see it as you have all of this time and don’t understand why you couldn’t get to doing that certain thing. They don’t understand that as a SAHM you literally compartmentalize everything and you get to what are top priorities (sometimes not even all of those are met) but you’re literally staying as on top of everything you possibly can. It’s not a sit on your butt and not do anything life lol. I’ve been on both sides and currently balance a bit of both so I have respect for the situation.” —Heather Strickland
The truth is:
I didn’t “walk away from the job” I found another way to be there for my family and now as an online writer, another way to provide for them.
In fact, had I not chose this path I’m not sure I would be writing, learning and growing with you lovelies today!
No I didn’t give up my career. I chose a different path and ultimately one that lead to a new career with more freedom and stability for myself and my family.
In the same way, I am not “brave” for choosing to stay home, I simply found a different way to support my family. My career is still happening and I’m still a productive member of society. Even if I substitute a pant suit for mom jeans and leggings.