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“Why Lupus?” A Letter from Writer to Reader

Copy of Copy of Copy of Copy of Faded Fall (6)

How Lupus Inspired Me

I’m sure a few of you are wondering why a Mama blog has added Lupus Awareness to their site. Sure, I could have created a separate web-page for that, or simply left it out. Its pretty simple really. Lupus has been a big part of my life and ultimately why I started this blog in the first place.

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How it all started

Growing up in Oxnard, California were some of the best memories I have. My Grandmother always made it a point to push forward, putting my happiness before her own and sometimes even her health.

Ever heard of the spoon theory?
In the most basic sense, an example would be this… you only have so many spoons to trade in for each and every task you have to complete for the day, let’s say ten spoons, that’s quite a lot right? Well, not really. Its going to take you three of those spoons to get out of bed, take a shower, eat breakfast and drive to work. You haven’t even clocked in yet and you only have seven spoons left so plan your day wisely!
Now imagine on top of this you are raising an elementary aged child, going to nursing school while working as an registered nurse for one of the top ten hospitals in a city with a population around 150,000 (est, population for Oxnard, CA in 1995) all while helping your husband run his business. This was exactly what my grandmother did.

Thinking back to those days now, I can see that I was too young to notice all the times my grandmother was suffering. Spending days and weeks and months in the hospital she worked at as a patient. I recall evenings when my grandfather came to pick me up from elementary school, knowing exactly what that meant. “She’s going to be okay, don’t worry your Grama is alright.” I believed it because anything else was unacceptable.

Now, two decades later I still find myself leaving the hospital after a visit with my grandmother thinking, “She’s going to be okay. She always comes back home.” Only now it’s been five decades since her symptoms started, and she is in her elderly years.

The good news is that God has given her the chance to see her son, granddaughter (me) and her three great-grandchildren grow. She still has the strength (most days) to get out of bed, get active with her Church and take part in family activities around the house. For all this I am incredibly grateful.

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My grandmother, regardless of her illness, raised her son and granddaughter, completed nursing school and held a stable job for many moons, even helping her husband run his business…. not to mention kept an immaculate house and cared for foster dogs for several years. All this and Lupus?! Seeing what she has been through, what she continues to go through, leaves me with the feeling that I have no excuse not to try and make something of myself. Be it mothering, homeschooling, or the decade I spent building a career in Hospitality and Tourism (and now this site.) Through my trials with postpartum depression and anxiety I was inspired by her courage to have strength when there seemed to be none.

My goal

My hopes are that with this website I can help raise awareness about Lupus, a disease that my grandmother refers to as “the sleeping giant” as well as help other mothers who have found themselves in trying times. If even one person finds comfort or strength to carry on carrying on because of this site, then I will have done my job.

Thank you for reading,
God bless!

 

2 thoughts on ““Why Lupus?” A Letter from Writer to Reader

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